How Big is Your Butt? (a not so serious post on physiology and evolution)

Dedicated to my Crossfit Lite Ladies, who inspire me every week with their effort and desire for pain-free living, and who just laugh at me when I talk about growing a big butt for not only aesthetic purposes, but health purposes too.

As the days start getting longer as summer approaches, I start thinking about physiques more and more.  Not only mine, but what I find attractive in the opposite sex. 

Lately, I’ve been thinking about female butts alot.

Not only that, but male butts too.

I can recall women claiming that the reason they enjoy watching professional football is because they like looking at the players’ butts. 

I remember another story by a friend of mine who was mooned by someone else, and he claimed he was disgusted at the lack of “back” on this individual.

From that comment, I observed that this individual had also begun to develop chronic pain in a couple of body parts from a lack of activity in his twenties.

Thoughts about butts dominate much of my thoughts.

And for good reason.

A strong butt, formally known as “gluteus maximus, gluteus medius, gluteus minimus, piriformis, superior gemellus, obturator internus, inferior gemellus, and quadratus femoris“, informally known as “caboose, rump, bottom, cheeks, or posterior chain” can prevent most, if not all, back and hip pain. 

Why are we attracted to nice butts (or other qualities)?

I wonder often, why are we attracted to certain features?

Why are you turned on by a certain shape, size, or attribute of your intimate partner?

Evolutionarily speaking, a big butt means greater athleticism, which equates to having greater ability to hunt animals, defend your family against enemies, or having the ability carry trees to build shelter.  In other words, you’re sexually attracted to certain features because they equate to greater chances for you and your family’s survival. 

Your genes get passed on and your name lives another generation.

Facial symmetry?

A pretty face implies less genetic mistakes and less chance of genetic disease, especially in the face of environmental stresses.

According to Bruce Lipton in his book, The Biology of Belief, 95% of disease is caused by environmental triggers that you expose yourself to.  According to his calculations, you are only genetically born with 5% disease.

That means, moving around consistently throughout the day instead of 8-hour long sitting periods, eating The Human Diet instead of The Standard American Diet, exercising by doing real-life movements such as squats, lunges, deadlifts, and push-ups instead of sitting in machines to workout, are choices that make the difference between whether you’re going to get the heart disease that “runs in your family,” or not (95% of the time). 

The hourglass shape characteristic of females in their child-bearing years?

Wide hips allow for a baby to pass through the birth canal.  Having breasts allows a past-partum mother to breast feed.

Male sees female with hourglass shape, he knows that she can reproduce.  Once again, his genes get passed on.  Immortality.

Brains?

Good grades in school, attending Harvard, a financially rewarding job.  All are signs to a female that a male can financially support her and her future young.  That means not having to worry about finances, whether the utility bill will go unpaid, or if her kids will be able to afford college. 

In today’s age, brains are relatively more important than strictly physical features are because of the capitalistic environment we’ve created.

What physiologic purpose does a nice butt serve?

The gluteus maximus is supposed to be the strongest muscle in your body, being able to support the most load.

Your activities of daily living, anything requiring you to move through space, such as walking, running, cleaning, cooking, playing, they all require you to propel yourself through space.  It is primarily the glutes (along with the hamstrings, quadriceps, and adductor magnus) that allow your hip to extend. 

When your glutes can’t fire as much as they should (often because they’re turned off from too much sitting and machine-focused exercises), the secondary muscles are required to do too much work.  Not only that, but your low back musculature takes a brunt of the load as well.

That means that next time you go to pick up that napkin from the floor, you may bend over at the low back without any bend in the knees or hips instead of squatting down as you should.  That’s when your back blows out. 

A healthy butt simply asks your back, hips, and other muscles to do less.  Your butt wants to do more work.  You just have to teach it how.

If you want a way more indepth discussion about glute physiology, check out Dispelling the Glute Myth, written by The Glute Guy, Bret Contreras.

How to Build Your Butt

Stop the machine work.  Don’t worry about leg extension, leg curls, hip abductions, hip adductions, leg presses, calf raises, etc.  Unless you’re a bodybuilder and have a huge time investment for the purpose of muscle hypertrophy (“bigger muscles”) without the health parallel, you’re wasting your time.

Research has shown that people who squat get better at those silly machines.  People who use the machines don’t get better at squatting. 

Do exercises that make you better at real life.  Start squatting and lunging. 

I taught my grandfather how to do this.  I show my 80 year old patients how to do it. 

It’s that important.

If you can’t do it yet, that’s ok.  You start where you are.

If you don’t think you’re doing it properly, you’ll have to get someone to teach you how.

If your purpose is to lose weight, you’re doing that too.  Squatting uses nearly every muscle in your core and lower extremity.  With greater loads (or weights) than you can use in other exercises, you’re breaking down more muscle that will heal back stronger and with more mass.

More muscle mass equates to hungrier muscles and a faster metabolism.  You’re also releasing important anabolic (body-building, as opposed to catabolic or body-breaking) hormones such as testosterone and growth hormone, and IGF’s (Insulin-like growth factors). 

**Ladies.  Don’t worry about becoming “too bulky.”  Most males have trouble getting bulky and they have much more muscle-building testosterone than you do.  I understand that “getting bulky” is a fear of yours.  It is a fear that is not based in reality.  Do your squats, lift heavier things, and sprint intervals instead of long distances once in a while.  You won’t regret it.**

Don’t forget to take your breaks from sitting.  Tighter hips flexors that result from prolonged sitting will require more work for your glutes to fire.  You want to make it easier for glutes to work, not harder.

A Big Butt for a Healthier and Happier Life

If health (including the health of your relationship) is a concern, your butt and the butt of others should dominate some of your thoughts.

It simply isn’t talked about enough. (Although I’ve turned the tides a little bit by writing “butt” eighteen times in this post.).

The daily time investment (5 minutes) of doing 3 sets of 10 repetitions of squats and lunges at minimum could pay off huge dividends.

Hopefully, now you understand why “Sex Sells.”  You’re not only buying an aesthetically pleasing body, you’re also preventing future hip and back pain and creating a healthier and happier life because of it.

Now with three long months before beach season …

In what ways could a bigger butt improve your life?

Much appreciation to Billy Gregson for letting me know that my writing isn’t over the top and that there is truth behind “Sex Sells.” 

Dr. Christopher Stepien is a chiropractor, chronic pain specialist, and A.R.T. provider, and clinic director of the Barefoot Rehabilitation Clinic in Morristown, NJ.  He practices out of Crossfit Morristown.

Tagged as: active release technique morristown, barefoot morristown, butt, chiropractic morristown