If you really want to feel great after a meal, try a gigantic salad, also called “The Manliest Salad Ever.” Or “The Womanliest Salad Ever” if you’re a female.
This is how you make one. (Note: for MATURE audiences only.)
Just kidding. You don’t need big biceps or your fists, but you do need a big knife and a cutting board. But that’s the attitude you need to have when making “The Manliest Salad Ever.” It needs to deliver a wallop of nutrients and power! And that’s exactly what this one that I made did!!
First, you need to get the ingredients. Your top option for food is local and truly organic, not just “organic.” You can read about the difference between the two here. To find a farm near you, try localharvest.org and eatwild.com.
The Ingredients (All organic unless otherwise noted)
- 1 head of lettuce
- 1 red pepper
- 1 dark green pepper
- 1 light green pepper
- 1 tomato
- 2 pasture raised soft-boiled eggs
- 9 strips of pasture raised bacon
- 2 radishes
- 5 crowns of broccoli (not organic)
- 1 apple
- 1/2 of an orange, juiced (not organic)
- chia seeds
- fresh parsley
- fresh basil (not organic)
- fresh dill
- mustard (not organic)
- sea salt
- black pepper
- extra virgin olive oil (not organic)
- apple cider vinegar
In North Jersey, I’ve found two sources to get meat and vegetables from. The first is Purple Dragon Co-op. Although organic, it is not local as they order from around the country. Again, eating local allows us to elimate resources in moving food over great distances. I prefer to go with Godlewsky Farms for my vegetables and Mini Mac Farm for my meat and eggs.
To put together, you simply cook the eggs and bacon and chop up the rest.
I like to soft-boil the eggs. That way when you pierce your fork through them, the yolk runs through the salad, adding an amazing texture to your salad.
Remember that when you get healthy sources of eggs and meat, you don’t have to worry as much about bacterial contamination because healthier animals have healthier immune systems to fend off bacteria. I also only partially cook the bacon.
You can store some of your “Manliest Salad Ever” in the fridge for a later time.
But part of the description in “manliest” is the size of it. It’s big. That means, you have to go after all of it in one sitting!!
That’s exactly what I decided to do: dominate.
I finished it in about an hour, reading at the same time. Usually I like to sit at the table quietly while I eat. Stay in the present. But when I make “The Man liest Salad Ever” like this one, I tend to read at the same time.
Thirty minutes in, I had to go to the bathroom. I waited until finished to go. I don’t know whether it’s the fiber or the amount of foods I’m comsuming, but something hits the “on” switch for the intestines.
People often ask me whether I’m satisfied with eating salad on a daily basis. Yes, I honestly tell them. If you figure out what flavors and ingredients work for you, you can learn to look forward to eating salad everyday. Some of my essential ingredients include: mustard, basil, a protein (bacon and eggs was more than sufficient here) besides just nuts, something sweet (raisins, blueberries, raspberries, and strawberries are my favorites), and avocado.
When you’ve eaten a salad this big, you feel satisfied in a way that other meals just can’t measure up to. Being a believer in intermittent fasting, this salad was the only meal I ate all day. When you eat well and feel great because of it, you don’t want to make poor decisions later on that are going to compromise that feeling.
When you fast on an empty stomach or after eating three slices of pizza and six cookies, it’s much easier to starve yourself, then go looking for another quick fix to satisfy your hunger for sugar.
You crave things that your body needs. You crave salty foods when you’re dehydrated (ever wonder why you love fried foods when you’re drinking or hungover?) You crave chocolate when you’re magnesium deficient (which around 75% of the population is). You crave simple sugars when you’re in need of quick glucose.
By eating a enormous salad with tons of healthy nutrients, your body essentially says, “I’ve gotten all of the nutrients I need. I don’t want anything else.” And that’s an amazing feeling. You’re full, but not bloated like you are when you have one bowl of pasta or three slices of cheese.
What are your favorite ingredients in your “Manliest Salad” or “Womanliest Salad”? Write them down. Next time you eat a salad, add those indredients. I challenge you to eat a bigger salad than you ever had before. You’ll not only eat less garbage later, but you’ll feel better now because of it.