The Manliest Salad Ever

by Dr. Christopher on October 18, 2010

If you really want to feel great after a meal, try a gigantic salad, also called “The Manliest Salad Ever.”  Or “The Womanliest Salad Ever” if you’re a female.

The Introduction

This is how you  make one.  (Note: for MATURE audiences only.)

Just kidding.  You don’t need big biceps or your fists, but you do need a big knife and a cutting board.  But that’s the attitude you need to have when making “The Manliest Salad Ever.”  It needs to deliver a wallop of nutrients and power!  And that’s exactly what this one that I made did!!

The Process

First, you need to get the ingredients.   Your top option for food is local and truly organic, not just “organic.”  You can read about the difference between the two here.  To find a farm near you, try localharvest.org and eatwild.com

Veggies from Godlewsky Farms in New Jersey

The Ingredients (All organic unless otherwise noted)

  • 1 head of lettuce
  • 1 red pepper
  • 1 dark green pepper
  • 1 light green pepper
  • 1 tomato
  • 2 pasture raised soft-boiled eggs 
  • 9 strips of pasture raised bacon
  • almonds
  • walnuts
  • raisins
  • 2 radishes
  • 5 crowns of broccoli (not organic)
  • 1 apple
  • 1/2 of an orange, juiced (not organic)
  • chia seeds
  • fresh parsley
  • fresh basil (not organic)
  • fresh dill
  • mustard (not organic)
  • sea salt
  • black pepper
  • oregano
  • turmeric
  • paprika
  • extra virgin olive oil (not organic)
  • apple cider vinegar

In North Jersey, I’ve found two sources to get meat and vegetables from.  The first is Purple Dragon Co-op.  Although organic, it is not local as they order from around the country.  Again, eating local allows us to elimate resources in moving food over great distances.  I prefer to go with Godlewsky Farms for my vegetables and  Mini Mac Farm for my meat and eggs.

To put together, you simply cook the eggs and bacon and chop up the rest. 

I like to soft-boil the eggs.  That way when you pierce your fork through them, the yolk runs through the salad, adding an amazing texture to your salad.

Remember that when you get healthy sources of eggs and meat, you don’t have to worry as much about bacterial contamination because healthier animals have healthier immune systems to fend off bacteria.  I also only partially cook the bacon.

You can store some of your “Manliest Salad Ever” in the fridge for a later time.

But part of the description in “manliest” is the size of it.  It’s big.  That means, you have to go after all of it in one sitting!! 

That’s exactly what I decided to do: dominate.

Didn't have a bowl big enough. Had to use a pot.

The Aftermath

I finished it in about an hour, reading at the same time.  Usually I like to sit at the table quietly while I eat.  Stay in the present.  But when I make “The Man liest Salad Ever” like this one, I tend to read at the same time.

Thirty minutes in, I had to go to the bathroom.  I waited until finished to go.  I don’t know whether it’s the fiber or the amount of foods I’m comsuming, but something hits the “on” switch for the intestines.

People often ask me whether I’m satisfied with eating salad on a daily basis.  Yes, I honestly tell them.  If you figure out what flavors and ingredients work for you, you can learn to look forward to eating salad everyday.  Some of my essential ingredients include: mustard, basil, a protein (bacon and eggs was more than sufficient here) besides just nuts, something sweet (raisins, blueberries, raspberries, and strawberries are my favorites), and avocado.

When you’ve eaten a salad this big, you feel satisfied in a way that other meals just can’t measure up to.  Being a believer in intermittent fasting, this salad was the only meal I ate all day.  When you eat well and feel great because of it, you don’t want to make poor decisions later on that are going to compromise that feeling. 

When you fast on an empty stomach or after eating three slices of pizza and six cookies, it’s much easier to starve yourself, then go looking for another quick fix to satisfy your hunger for sugar. 

You crave things that your body needs.  You crave salty foods when you’re dehydrated (ever wonder why you love fried foods when you’re drinking or hungover?)  You crave chocolate when you’re magnesium deficient (which around 75% of the population is).  You crave simple sugars when you’re in need of quick glucose. 

By eating a enormous salad with tons of healthy nutrients, your body essentially says, “I’ve gotten all of the nutrients I need.  I don’t want anything else.”  And that’s an amazing feeling.  You’re full, but not bloated like you are when you have one bowl of pasta or three slices of cheese. 

What are your favorite ingredients in your “Manliest Salad” or “Womanliest Salad”?  Write them down.  Next time you eat a salad, add those indredients.  I challenge you to eat a bigger salad than you ever had before.  You’ll not only eat less garbage later, but you’ll feel better now because of it.

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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Eileen October 19, 2010 at 5:05 am

I make a hugh salad. I learned how in Italy. They call it “insalada mista”. In Italy, salad is eaten after the first 2 plates. For example, they eat minestrone, risotto, or a pasta dish first, not too big at all. Then they eat a second plate with a small portion of fish, chicken, lean beef, and vegetables. This is followed by a large salad. After their salad they share a plate of fresh local fruit and a few slices of local fresh cheeses.
They usually top it off with a nice espresso, with one small biscotti. All the portions are quite small, but the variety is great. Italians spend a lot of time at their table, chatting in between plates, etc. I believe they started the “Slow Food” movement long ago.
Here is what I put in my salad. The greens must be fresh, well washed, and chilled.
Boston lettuce, iceberg lettuce, radicchio, arugula, sliced anise. I dress it with a simple vinigrette made of extra virgin olive oil, sea salt, sugar, white wine vinegar. I use only a small amount of dressing in a large bowl of salad. I mix it in right before I serve it. The flavors blend very well with the main ingredients of the salad. This salad is a mouthful of flavor, but very light and cleansing.

meghan October 19, 2010 at 11:43 am

that video was retarded funny

Christopher October 19, 2010 at 12:15 pm

I’m jealous Dr. Santipadri! Hearing people talk about Italy and after reading “Eat, Love, Pray,” I know the Italians have some amazing eating habits. I can’t wait to visit some day!! I wonder why they eat each dish in that order…carb, protein/veggies, salad, fruit/cheese (for dessert, this makes sense). Wonder if it’s tradition or there is some physiologic reason. The time spent with loved ones at dinner is truly one of the best features of eating!!

Anise? I’ll have to try some of that!!

Thanks for sharing Dr. Santipadri!

Christopher October 19, 2010 at 12:16 pm

Megan, Yes, I’ve been watching it for weeks…it’s always good for making me smile. 🙂

Dawn November 1, 2010 at 9:29 pm

What a salad! Loved your ingredients but I would have added an avocado as well and skipped the radishes. Not a big radish person!

Not sure that I could have eaten all of that in one sitting however the concept of sitting there for an hour munching away would certainly be satisfying. I’ve really never tired to eat a salad that big.
Dawn recently posted..Oct 31- Acidophilus And Bifidus

Christopher November 2, 2010 at 12:29 pm

Hi Dawn! Radishes aren’t my favorite either, but they came in the box and they are a vegetable. So that means I need it in my belly!

Most people really are surprised when I make salads that large. Remember, it really was the only thing I ate all day, so I just used that time I would have eaten breakfast and dinner and put it all into lunch!

Also, while I was full at the end, I really do feel amazing after eating salads full of varied organic ingredients. Try it and you’ll see. Thanks for reading!

Jamie April 14, 2011 at 9:18 am

Christopher,

Salad looks really delicious and the site looks great. I’m going to work hard to adopt a lot of these eating habbits. Was this salad really the only thing you ate all day [responding to your post to Dawn].

[Not sure how i feel about you admitting to having read “Eat, Pray, Love”… But you’re still a legend in my eyes]

-J

Dr. Christopher April 14, 2011 at 9:53 am

Heyyyy Jamie! You can do it Jamie. The only question is, do you want the results that the diet will give you? Do you really want to be leaner, look better, and feel healthier and happier? If yes, then your only choice is to do it.

Yes, I occasionally eat just one BIG salad as my only meal. Recently, I’ve transitioned to three normal sized meals to see what effect it has on my body composition. We’ll see.

“Eat, Pray, Love” is an amazing book Jamie. I know you’re comfortable with your manhood too. You should read it. 🙂

Cody June 2, 2013 at 10:07 pm

I am looking forward to trying this salad! My only question is how much of each thing do you put in? Or do you just go for it and put in what ever you are feeling that day?

Dr. Christopher June 8, 2013 at 2:41 pm

Hi Cody! Great question. Yes, it’s completely arbitrary to what type of taste I’m feeling. Unfortunately, I’m not the type of person who measures. I know everytime, though, that I will use twice as much basil and oregano as I would of paprika or turmeric. Is that helpful?

After you’ve experimented a couple of times, you’ll get the idea of what your taste buds desire.

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