Shhhhhh. A Secret to Happiness.

by Dr. Christopher on October 30, 2011

Writer’s note: I know I’m supposed to be writing about health.  Exercise more, eat clean, deal with stress.  I’ll get to that.  Whenever I sit down to create, I ask myself what people need to be happier.  And stuff like this comes out.  I hope that you enjoy it, perhaps makes you smile, laugh, or cry, and that you live a happier life because of it.

The world is a mirror of yourself.

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh …

You want to know a secret?

I want to share something with you.

It’s the secret to being single and alone, yet happy.

It’s also the secret to having a long, rare, and almost unimaginable love affair with another person.

It’s the only way to grasp that your dreams are calling out to you to make them real.

And that you can make them real.

It will help you trust your heart, even when everyone else, including your own mind, says “you’re an idiot.”

Are you ready for it?

Come here so I can whisper it in your ear…

Love yourself.

I don’t like myself, I’m crazy about myself. ~ Mae West

As I write this, I imagine myself sitting right in front of you, looking into your eyes, having a real, deep conversation … I imagine thinking in my own head, “Wow.  I love this person.” 

And somehow, I imagine, you don’t see it.  You don’t see what I love.

You don’t see how amazing you are.  How lovable.  How strong.  How special.  How unique.  How giving.  How much you have to offer the world.  And I wonder, “How could this person not love herself as much as I love her?”  “Not love himself as much as I love him?”

Then I remember, I didn’t love myself for a long time.

Now, I do.

Love yourself, for if you don’t, how can you expect anybody else to love you? ~Unknown

When I wake up with afrohead and eye boogers, I look in the mirror, laugh out loud and say, “I love you Chris.” (Laughing alone, out loud, at yourself, has this power to bring you peace that I don’t completely understand why.)

Or when I think of something dumb to say that is corny like my olive joke (that I’ll tell you someday) that isn’t funny to anyone besides myself, I say it, then think in my head “I love you Chris.”

Or when I let myself down, failing to achieve a desire, or I act in a way that is incongruent with my vision of myself, I’ll say, “I still love you Chris,” and add an extra three “I love you’s” so my deep self gets the point!

Try it.

I celebrate myself, and sing myself. ~Walt Whitman

Look in the mirror.  Smile.  Maybe even laugh at yourself.  Then say it, “I love you ___________.”  Make sure you put your name in there.  So your ego, your soul, your mind, and any other alternative you knows that you are happy with who you are.

Watch yourself start to own your weaknesses and insecurities.

You’ll begin to do things that only build you up, not tear you down.

And you’ll be able to create in your life whatever unicorns, rainbows, and fairy tale thoughts that you want.

To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance. ~Oscar Wilde

I love you!  So love yourself dammit!  (If you need to hear it, leave me your phone number or come to Morristown, NJ, and I’ll say it to your face.  Whatever works, I’ll get it done.)

Dr. Christopher Stepien is a chiropractor, chronic pain specialist, and A.R.T. provider, and clinic director of the Barefoot Rehabilitation Clinic in Morristown, NJ.  He practices out of Guerrilla Fitness: Crossfit Morristown and Crossfit Montclair.
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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

becky johnsen October 30, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Hey Chris

With you and Oprah as my friends…..I wii never need a shrink!!!

Love you!

Dr. Christopher October 31, 2011 at 12:38 pm

Hi Becky! I agree, you and Oprah do the same for me! I need to hang out more with both of you! Love, Chris

Martha November 1, 2011 at 9:22 am

This made me cry – guess I should try it! How can someone so young have so much wisdom? Thank you for sharing Dr. Chris!

Dr. Christopher November 1, 2011 at 12:27 pm

Crying is good!!! Let it go!!! Come back to us Martha?

edmond0925 November 3, 2011 at 7:14 am

Wow! That was inspiring. Great post Dr. Chris!
edmond0925 recently posted..Panic Attack 2 Hours

Dr. Christopher November 3, 2011 at 7:42 am

I’m happy that you enjoyed it Edmond. : )

gracia19 November 4, 2011 at 10:11 am

Let me try it! I love you Grace! I’m going to do this everyday from now on! Thanks a lot for this great advice! To love one’s self is to learn how to accept yourself entirely. I know there are lots of people who are not happy with themselves. I hope they get to read this post! Thank you Dr. Chris! I love you!
gracia19 recently posted..Dating Tips for Men

Caroline November 4, 2011 at 7:08 pm

I totally I agree with the words ” Love yourself ” because how can we give our love to another person if we don’t know how to love our self.
Caroline recently posted..Difficulty Getting Pregnant

Dr. Christopher November 5, 2011 at 9:26 am

Gracia … Good effort already! Proud of you. I hope that you will do it everyday?! Please do! Come back to me in a month after you do it and tell me how you’ve changed? Haha, I love you Gracia!

Caroline … exactly. Deepak Chopra talks about it often. All love in the world starts with loving yourself.

Margret November 14, 2011 at 11:00 am

Thanks to your very inspiring advice.It would settle someone else’s heart.Being contented for what they have and what they’ve got.That’s the great attitude. Thanks again.

Dr. Christopher November 14, 2011 at 5:29 pm

You’re welcome Margret. Gratitude is good, I think. : )

Alan November 17, 2011 at 12:24 pm

If we don’t love ourself, others won’t love us either. Great write up, so inspiring! Hope people will take your advices, they will make their life more beautiful.

Dr. Christopher November 17, 2011 at 2:18 pm

Happy you were inspired Alan. I hope they do too. : )

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