Writer’s note: I know I’m supposed to be writing about health. Exercise more, eat clean, deal with stress. I’ll get to that. Whenever I sit down to create, I ask myself what people need to be happier. And stuff like this comes out. I hope that you enjoy it, perhaps makes you smile, laugh, or cry, and that you live a happier life because of it.
You want to know a secret?
I want to share something with you.
It’s the secret to being single and alone, yet happy.
It’s also the secret to having a long, rare, and almost unimaginable love affair with another person.
It’s the only way to grasp that your dreams are calling out to you to make them real.
And that you can make them real.
It will help you trust your heart, even when everyone else, including your own mind, says “you’re an idiot.”
Are you ready for it?
Come here so I can whisper it in your ear…
I don’t like myself, I’m crazy about myself. ~ Mae West
As I write this, I imagine myself sitting right in front of you, looking into your eyes, having a real, deep conversation … I imagine thinking in my own head, “Wow. I love this person.”
And somehow, I imagine, you don’t see it. You don’t see what I love.
You don’t see how amazing you are. How lovable. How strong. How special. How unique. How giving. How much you have to offer the world. And I wonder, “How could this person not love herself as much as I love her?” “Not love himself as much as I love him?”
Then I remember, I didn’t love myself for a long time.
Now, I do.
Love yourself, for if you don’t, how can you expect anybody else to love you? ~Unknown
When I wake up with afrohead and eye boogers, I look in the mirror, laugh out loud and say, “I love you Chris.” (Laughing alone, out loud, at yourself, has this power to bring you peace that I don’t completely understand why.)
Or when I think of something dumb to say that is corny like my olive joke (that I’ll tell you someday) that isn’t funny to anyone besides myself, I say it, then think in my head “I love you Chris.”
Or when I let myself down, failing to achieve a desire, or I act in a way that is incongruent with my vision of myself, I’ll say, “I still love you Chris,” and add an extra three “I love you’s” so my deep self gets the point!
I celebrate myself, and sing myself. ~Walt Whitman
Look in the mirror. Smile. Maybe even laugh at yourself. Then say it, “I love you ___________.” Make sure you put your name in there. So your ego, your soul, your mind, and any other alternative you knows that you are happy with who you are.
Watch yourself start to own your weaknesses and insecurities.
You’ll begin to do things that only build you up, not tear you down.
And you’ll be able to create in your life whatever unicorns, rainbows, and fairy tale thoughts that you want.
To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance. ~Oscar Wilde
I love you! So love yourself dammit! (If you need to hear it, leave me your phone number or come to Morristown, NJ, and I’ll say it to your face. Whatever works, I’ll get it done.)